Another 9/11 Milestone

Like most people, 9/11 represents a demarcation of personal history. There is life before 9/11 (youth, young adulthood, early career experiences, innocence, ignorance) and life after 9/11 (endless war, fear, anger, sadness, revelation). 

For context, on 9/11/01 I was a young teacher, working a split assignment between a middle and high school in rural Iowa. 

I left the classroom TV on that day, my students saw everything as it happened. 

I was with 8th graders when the second tower was hit, I was with sophomores and juniors when the towers collapsed. I always wonder if showing the horror as it unfolded was the right choice, if I had been a more experienced teacher would I have left the TV on? Not sure, but not one parent complained.

My personal memories of that day are still tough to talk about, as I watched America under attack I was simultaneously trying to reconcile my own fears while attempting to educate and comfort kids. Since that day, I have valued the discussions I have had with students each anniversary, even if their experience that day was only as a child.

Fast forward to now. I am currently a high school teacher in suburban San Diego County. A significant portion of my school’s population either immigrated from Iraq or have family who did so. 

I knew that if I taught long enough I would come to a point where my students had either no recollection of that day or were born after 9/11. It dawned on me as I started to write up a 9/11 discussion prompt this morning that day was today.

Today’s discussion with students who were at most a couple years old on 9/11 went extremely well. Students understood the significance of the day, they could easily make connections to how 9/11 has impacted their lives. Most importantly, they knew the day mattered even if they didn’t have personal emotional memories of it. 

They also asked a lot of questions. 

The most common was, “why did the US decide to attack Iraq?” It was a question that I don’t remember being asked a lot by previous classes WITH memories of that day. It’s a tough one to answer (see George W Bush’s legacy) and requires a much longer blog post, but what I can post here is that at the time right after 9/11 war with Iraq seemed like the right idea for most Americans based on the "facts"given to us by our government ….and that became probably the best “teachable moment” I have ever been able to give students during one of these 9/11 discussions, that just because a war seems like a good idea at the time, doesn’t mean it will always be so. I know this is overly simplistic, but it doesn’t make it any less true. 

Anecdotally it seems that kids who lived the 9/11 experience were focused, like me, on emotional memories. Conversely, students who didn’t have memories of that day were more focused on the “why” of the later wars and looked at it analytically. This isn’t an earth shattering revelation, but for some reason their thoughtful questions gave me some hope that maybe younger generations might be learning something from the decisions made in the emotional climate after 9/11. 

Over the past 16 years I have  taught a lot of kids. Some of my students after graduating went to fight in the wars that came about after 9/11, while some students who sit in my classroom today fled those wars and came to America to be safe. I am thankful for both....

While not as dramatic as the 9/11 of 16 years ago, today still was a significant milestone in my life. I hope that each year I can help kids understand the significance of 9/11, I also hope that they will continue to ask the tough questions about the decisions that came afterwards. 

To all my students, former and current, thank you for being part of the discussion. 

Typical Friday Night Riding Solo With 3 Kids Under the Age of 7

(Dedicated to those who have lived this, and to those who might be considering having multiple kids)

I had the night off from calling football, my wife was out with friends- so I got this brilliant idea to take all three kids out to a game. Some of my favorite memories as a kid involve me and my dad heading out to a high school game under the lights and I wanted to share this experience with my kids.

We ended up leaving the house late because my middle child couldn't find his shoes. His inability to find shoes is right up there with death and taxes, its something you can count on. Eventually my shoeless child miraculously found something to cover his feet with and we head out. Before we go to the game we have to first stop at a large chain store to get my youngest a better car seat (safety first). You would think that I would be a car seat aficionado by now, but I did not fully realize that I actually had to first assemble the seat before use.  I am not a big directions reader, so I start trying to cram the pieces together while my 3 extremely excited kids attempt to wriggle out of the car to dodge traffic in the parking lot.   

Seat construction complete, we are now able to  safely drive to the game. When we arrive there's only 5 minutes left in the half and our team is already down 21-0. The field is (no exaggeration) a mile away from where we parked.

As we start our forced march to the  stadium I started mentally preparing myself for the typical trash talk from the home team, and wonder how to explain to my kids what the phrase "you suck" means. About half-way, 2 of my 3 kids start melting down for various mysterious reasons that defy logic, while the other kid finds a plastic football and is jumping for joy. As the mini-meltdowns continue, I start processing options, and before I know what I am saying I blurt out -"Who wants ice cream instead?" The 2 kids who had been crying scream YES! The once happy kid with newfound football starts to cry. We pack back up, get to store to get ice cream and now my middle child (the one with the tendency to lose shoes) needs to use the public bathroom (you can imagine my joy). After the bathroom break, ice cream selections were made. As we near the check-out my oldest declares has now has to use the bathroom. I choose to ignore, acting like I didn't hear him (this will seem terrible to the parenting neophyte, but he is a habitual pee-false-alarmer). At this point I am hoping to check out, get to the car, and arrive home without having to go back into the biohazard that is this store's bathroom. Unfortunately, the guy ahead of me in line is buying about $300 in booze, and also arguing over the price. The stalled grocery store check out experience is absolutely the death knell for parents. Right there in front of your child's eye is a veritable smorgasbord of a kid's desire. Candy, fidget spinners, magazines with covers that illicit uncomfortable questions (see Cosmo, health magazines with half nude people smiling while holding bowls of quinoa, etc.). Somehow we escape with no extra purchases and no tears.

Upon pulling out of the parking lot I make one of the most critical parenting error you can make...the "hey look at that" suggestion, while not considering that not all your kids saw it.  I merely pointed out as we are leaving the cool dog a woman was walking, 2 of 3 kids agree that the dog was intact cool...the third claims he can't see dog and starts crying and demands we drive after lady so he can see it.

We finally arrive at home and eat ice cream, everyone is happy! Whoops, our failed football journey, shopping spree and drive  have put us perilously close to bedtime. As the kids lick the remaining ice cream from their bowls I exclaim, "BEDTIME!".... Kids are now all crying. The great news is they eventually cried themselves to sleep.

There is no real purpose to this blog post, I assume if you made it this far you either have kids and have lived this or don't have kids and are celebrating the fact you don't. I have next Friday off too, maybe we will actually make it to the game next week...better start looking for my kid's shoes right now!